it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I need to calm my uterus...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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