Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
