Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it's like iHOP with fire
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
