i just made my gag reflex go away.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
