so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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