Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
