I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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