Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
