Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
