all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
