Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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