...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
