I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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