pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
