I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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