I showed him my bush... on skype.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
