Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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