love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
