I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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