i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
