he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I love you. Go after that dick
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
