She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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