just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
