the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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