he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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