i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
