thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
