sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
