Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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