i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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