Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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