Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Actions speak louder than pants.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
