I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
