Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
