I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
