the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
