just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
