the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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