Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
