office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
