Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
