My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
