so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
