And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
