their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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