Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Small penises have feelings too.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
