I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
