i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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