remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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