I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
