just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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