I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
